Higher Power (my HP)

I won’t get religious here (I’m not a debate savvy person anyway), but I will tell you my belief. I believe there is something bigger than myself out in the universe and I’m thankful every day that he/she/it has chosen to change my life for the better.

I wouldn’t be here, sitting in this chair typing out this post, if it weren’t for my HP. I would have left a long, long time ago. That’s what I wanted to do. I wanted to run. I wanted to not look back. But there was something telling me “Hang on. Just a little bit longer. I know it’s tough, but I PROMISE it will get better.”

Because I was so used to hearing those words from husband, it was hard to take my HP seriously when those same words appeared in my mind over and over. But I knew it was real. How did I know? I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. I could almost physically feel the certainty of the words as they came again and again.

Let me be clear. These words didn’t show up one day when everything was going “okay”. This happened when I was in crisis mode about to have the car packed and hit the road. This was after I had already kicked him out for 3 weeks. This was after I already met with a divorce attorney to see what my options were. No, my HP waited until I was completely certain I had made my mind up this time and I was through. 

I believe every person’s situation is different. I know not everyone experiences things the way I have in the past or will in the future. But I also believe in faith. (Something I was REALLY lacking at this point in my life, by the way.) 

My prayer for you, dear reader, is that you have faith in your HP in whatever capacity that is for you. Maybe things will turn out great. Maybe things will get worse before they get better. Maybe things won’t change at all. But having faith in something bigger than yourself will help you become a better version of yourself. 

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