I just watched my brother go through a very scary and traumatic experience. He stayed in the hospital for several days. All is okay now, but I can’t say he’s 100% healed. He has to make a choice.
1) Go back to living the same life he lived before he went into the hospital
2) Start taking better care of yourself
I know that not everyone has a drinking problem. There are people out in the world who can have just one beer or one glass of wine and be totally okay not drinking again for months. I don’t know any of these people personally, but I am told they exist. Those are not the kind of people I grew up around. Those are not the kind of people I used to hang out with. We were more “all in” kind of people.
My brother is no different. He has this sort of renegade cowboy thing going on. Kind of like John Wayne meets Scarface and their DNA is intertwined to create my brother. I know he has slowed way down as he’s gotten into his 30s, but lifestyle (I believe) played a big role in his hospital scare.
I spoke to him about it. I told him it scared the absolute shit out of me to see him sitting in a hospital bed and not knowing what was going to happen. I told him I was super pissed at him because I thought him ending up in the ER was a result of drinking (it wasn’t and I apologized for jumping to conslusions). I told him that making lifestyle changes (or any change for that matter) really sucks…but it’s totally doable.
I thank my HP every day for teaching me that I have no control over other people, only myself. The old me wants to shake my brother, tell him to get his life together, and make better choices. But I know the reality is that he has to make that decision. Period. End of story. And he has to make that decision for himself. Not for his family, not for his daughter, and not for his girlfriend. He has to want it. Otherwise, it’s a lose-lose situation.