Selecting Who You Want In Your Life

This may sound harsh, but I’ve had to let go of quite a few people in my life ever since we stopped drinking. Don’t get me wrong here; in hindsight, hanging out with certain people just contributed to our being drunk every single weekend. But at the same time when those people try to call and get together with you, it’s hard to not say, “Sorry, but your lifestyle was killing me and I’d rather be better than that.” (You can physically feel the condescending¬†tones in that, huh?)

I’ve never been a person who needed multiple “besties” in my life to be content. Yes, I had multiple acquaintances growing up, but I learned from a young age to only trust a select few of my friends for the deep stuff. Luckily, this has paid off for me in my adult years because I now only have a handful of people in my life who understand our new lifestyle and don’t judge us for it. (I know I shouldn’t care what other people think, but it still hurts when I tell someone I quit drinking and they follow it up with, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea you stopped!” Empathetic or condescending once again? You decide.)

Anyway, the point I’m trying to make here is to not allow the same people in your life simply because they have always been there. Sort through the good, the bad, and the “probably shouldn’t” type of people in your life and decide who needs to stay and who needs to go.

I’m not saying you write these people out of your life forever. I’m suggesting that you maybe see them less. Perhaps only on special occasion or the rare holiday when togetherness is obligatory. You definitely shouldn’t be hanging around people daily who are toxic to your well-being and don’t understand your goals.

Who knows? Maybe you leading a happy and content life sober can encourage them to do the same.


Don’t Fall into Fear’s Traps

There are landmines lurking everywhere. One wrong move and you can land on the one live explosive that is able to derail your entire existence. No, I’m not talking about actual bombs here. I’m talking about fear and the stupid lies it tries to tell all of us.

“You’re not ready. You’ll never be ready. You aren’t old enough to do that. You’re not young enough to do that. Why would they pick you for that job? Why wouldn’t she cheat on you? Of course you’ve gained weight. You aren’t as good looking as you used to be. You’ll never be enough.” ¬†

I have to admit, I became infuriated simply typing those statements and lies out. These thoughts have crept into my mind, almost daily. And when I’m really weak, sometimes every hour. Fear tries to tell us everything that is wrong with us, all of our flaws. There isn’t any mention of the things you’ve done right in your life or the goals you’ve already accomplished. Fear wants to focus on the bad, the negative, and the impossible rather than give you any glimmer of hope or confidence.

Don’t fall into fear’s traps. Those things you hear fear whispering to you isn’t reality. Maybe if you let fear control you long enough it becomes your reality, but that’s when you need to fight like hell to get your life back. You are in control…not fear!

Now, watch your step today. Be sure to step over those landmines hiding in the shadows. And for goodness sake, don’t let fear direct navigate for you anymore.