This may sound harsh, but I’ve had to let go of quite a few people in my life ever since we stopped drinking. Don’t get me wrong here; in hindsight, hanging out with certain people just contributed to our being drunk every single weekend. But at the same time when those people try to call and get together with you, it’s hard to not say, “Sorry, but your lifestyle was killing me and I’d rather be better than that.” (You can physically feel the condescending tones in that, huh?)
I’ve never been a person who needed multiple “besties” in my life to be content. Yes, I had multiple acquaintances growing up, but I learned from a young age to only trust a select few of my friends for the deep stuff. Luckily, this has paid off for me in my adult years because I now only have a handful of people in my life who understand our new lifestyle and don’t judge us for it. (I know I shouldn’t care what other people think, but it still hurts when I tell someone I quit drinking and they follow it up with, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea you stopped!” Empathetic or condescending once again? You decide.)
Anyway, the point I’m trying to make here is to not allow the same people in your life simply because they have always been there. Sort through the good, the bad, and the “probably shouldn’t” type of people in your life and decide who needs to stay and who needs to go.
I’m not saying you write these people out of your life forever. I’m suggesting that you maybe see them less. Perhaps only on special occasion or the rare holiday when togetherness is obligatory. You definitely shouldn’t be hanging around people daily who are toxic to your well-being and don’t understand your goals.
Who knows? Maybe you leading a happy and content life sober can encourage them to do the same.