In. Out. Deep Breaths.
This is how I get through tough times throughout the day. This may sound silly, but don’t discourage the idea until you’ve tried it. I’m amazed by how often this one simple thing completely calms me down or at least distracts me enough to chill-ax a little bit.
Many stress factors affect us daily. Our jobs. Our kids. Our families going through a tough time. Taking time to care for ourselves. And many other situational stress points that keep us tightly wound if we’re not concentrating on breathing.
The metaphorical sense of taking a deep breath is just as important as the physical one. What I mean is that sometimes we need to a step away from the situation more so than we need to take a breath. Maybe your “deep breath” is walking into the other room and sitting quietly for a minute or two. Maybe it’s taking a walk around the block. Maybe it actually is stepping outside and taking a deep breath of fresh air.
There’s a reason why “I need to get some fresh air” is a thing. Removing yourself from a situation and taking in a deep dose of oxygen can invigorate your brain and help you think more clearly.
Be aware of your own self. Know when you need a break. Know when removing yourself for some fresh air will do everybody good. Take long and slow deep breaths. Fill your body with energizing air that will clear your mind. Remind yourself to be present in the moment. Allow yourself to admit you need a break. Then, come back recharged and ready to go.
There are millions of reasons why I fall short of being perfect. I won’t bore you with a list all of them here, but I will focus on one thing in particular I’ve been working on: judging others.
Every since I became sober, I’ve had issue with other people who drink. It’s not that I think they are making terrible life decisions and will wake up regretting having that beer or glass of wine or shot of whiskey. It boils down to jealousy. Not jealousy that they get to partake in the act of drinking alcoholic beverages. What I’m jealous of is the ability to have self control with alcohol.
I’m sure that sounds silly and childish, but it’s the truth. I wish I had self control when it comes to drinking, but I don’t. Period, the end.
Where I struggle with judgement is believing everyone else has a “problem” too, only because that makes me mentally feel better. It means I’m not weak. It means I’m not the only one who struggles with self control. I guess in a way it’s my subconscious telling me I’m better than the people who drink because I don’t drink.
In reality, everyone has their own struggles. I just happen to struggle with judging others. By declaring this character flaw though, I’m made more aware of the constant effort I need to invest in myself to continue to improve.
Progress, not perfection. One day at a time.
Often we forget about things that were once significant but now have become completely ordinary. For example, most people don’t wake up every day grateful for electricity and a refrigerator. However, you take these two things away and we could quite possibly loose our minds very quickly.
Gratitude is all about finding something, anything really, that brings thankfulness into your heart. I can’t even count how many times I’ve been grateful for my washer and dryer. (I realize that may sound silly, but go ahead and let your washer quit working for a few days. You’ll be extremely grateful for that machine!)
We also don’t have to wait until Thanksgiving 2018 rolls around to know about gratitude. What things are you grateful for in your life?
Do you have a good job? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have food in your belly? Do you have a vehicle to get you places? Do your kids go to a school that helps them grow into smart, good people? Do you have friends and family? Do you have a network of people who support you? Do you have one close friend, significant other, or family member whom you count on?
All of these things may seem ordinary, but they aren’t guaranteed. They are blessings. The breath in your lungs is a blessing. The beating of your heart is a blessing. The ability to read this is a blessing.
Don’t take your blessings for granted.
No words of wisdom today other than enjoy your weekend and have a great start to your December.
Progress not perfection…One day at a time…Focus on being the best version of you!
This Holiday season, I’ve felt motivated to give more. Give more time. Give more money. Give more service. I’m not sure if it’s gratitude or perspective that’s got a hold on me, but I feel extremely blessed.
I feel blessed to have a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. I feel blessed that my husband has a good stable job, that he actually enjoys. I feel blessed that both of my parents are alive and very involved with our family. I feel blessed that the few friends I have are there for me when I need support. I feel blessed that my children are all healthy. I feel blessed that my husband and I work together as a team, no matter the obstacles we face as a married couple. I feel blessed to be loved. I feel blessed to be alive.
Blessings, gratitude, and perspective don’t come from material things. I hope that you can find the blessings already present in your life today.
One day at a time…
Let me tell you, finding gratitude when you’re hungry, tired, and impatient is an extremely hard thing to do. How do I know? Recently, I attended a birthday dinner at a nice restaurant (with three kids mind you). The thing lasted three hours, when we could have been in and out of there in an hour and a half! Talk about testing your patience.
There were tantrums, melt downs, complaining about the food not being ready, and those were just from me. The kids really did an excellent job of eating bread and throwing crayons around the restaurant, but I quit caring about forty-five minutes in. It was almost like an ultimatum to the wait staff. “Okay, you get these kids fed or else I’ll be forced to give them each a bread stick and have them reenact a light saber fight by the bathrooms.” Zzzzzsssshhhhhrrrrroooooom….zzzzsssshhhhrrrroooommmm.
Anyway, the point of this whole thing is to say I’m grateful for the people I was stuck with for three hours. There were people I’d never met, people I hardly get to chat with, and my immediate family (minus one brother) was all in one place. I couldn’t think of better people to be stuck with. (Especially the sweet lady sitting next to my son claiming she has six grandkids and she knows how kids are. Thank God for that lady!)
You can find something to be grateful for in every situation. Every single one. You may have to look harder when it’s cold, wet, rainy, and you’ve lost your umbrella. But I promise you they are there.
Do you ever have a horrendous night of sleep that you know will drag you down the entire day? I’m talking about babies screaming and crying, kids kicking you in their sleep, the dog barking in the middle of the night, and weird dreams that jolt you panting into the darkness of your bedroom?
Yeah, that happened to me last night. And I’m trying my hardest to not let all of those affect my mood for the entire day.
So how can I turn this around? Just like you turn anything else around…get some perspective and focus on gratitude.
I’m grateful that my kids want to sleep with me when dad is travelling. I’m grateful that we have a large enough bed to hold our family all in one spot. I’m grateful for air conditioning and fans so when I have two other little people’s bodies pressed against mine I don’t sweat to death. I’m grateful for waking up this morning with a tiny face right next to mine. It reminds me that they’ll only want to do this for a few more years.
I hope you can learn to always take difficult situations or even just a bad night of sleep and turn it into something for which you are grateful.