Recently, we moved our family 3 hours away from where our children had gone to school for the past 3 years. We were established in our community. We knew people when we went to the grocery store. We had friends to talk to at little league games. We knew our neighborhood pretty well. And I was on a first name basis with the principals and teachers at each of my boys’ schools.
Then we moved. We moved to be closer to family. We knew this was going to be challenging, but being closer to family in a good school district was a move we were willing to make.
Then it happened…
This past Friday we were thrown an unexpected curve-ball. While we are still in the middle of unpacking boxes and sorting through all of our recently moved home, we were told my husband’s company would once again be relocating us, along with the rest of their company headquarters, to another location 3 hours south from where we just moved.
“Really? Why couldn’t they have just kept us where we were and moved us from there? Why are we having to move twice? Do we want to move? What other options do we have?” These were just a few of the questions my husband and I tossed back and forth on Friday as we were in disbelief this was actually happening.
But, like anything else, we will get through it. I’m not 100% sure how easy the new transition will be, but I do know that as long as we are sober and we stick together we can accomplish anything.
God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.
There are landmines lurking everywhere. One wrong move and you can land on the one live explosive that is able to derail your entire existence. No, I’m not talking about actual bombs here. I’m talking about fear and the stupid lies it tries to tell all of us.
“You’re not ready. You’ll never be ready. You aren’t old enough to do that. You’re not young enough to do that. Why would they pick you for that job? Why wouldn’t she cheat on you? Of course you’ve gained weight. You aren’t as good looking as you used to be. You’ll never be enough.”
I have to admit, I became infuriated simply typing those statements and lies out. These thoughts have crept into my mind, almost daily. And when I’m really weak, sometimes every hour. Fear tries to tell us everything that is wrong with us, all of our flaws. There isn’t any mention of the things you’ve done right in your life or the goals you’ve already accomplished. Fear wants to focus on the bad, the negative, and the impossible rather than give you any glimmer of hope or confidence.
Don’t fall into fear’s traps. Those things you hear fear whispering to you isn’t reality. Maybe if you let fear control you long enough it becomes your reality, but that’s when you need to fight like hell to get your life back. You are in control…not fear!
Now, watch your step today. Be sure to step over those landmines hiding in the shadows. And for goodness sake, don’t let fear direct navigate for you anymore.
Do you ever feel like you’re not enough? Or that what you do for your family isn’t enough? Or as hard as you work on your job, it still just isn’t enough?
My friends, I’m here to tell you today that you are enough. You may not be fantastic at everything you have ever set out to accomplish, but you are enough. So often we get trapped in this mentality that we don’t measure up to the people out there who have been doing things way longer than we have, and we give up prematurely.
If you can just push past those doubts and fears, I promise on the other side of that self-accomplishment is pride you can only find within yourself. I’m not talking about that “ego-puffing” pride, but the kind where you truly believe in yourself and you start believing you are enough…you can do this!
So take on today not with the belief that you can’t measure up to someone else’s standards, but show up today as the person who believes in themselves and knows they are enough!
When I was 22 years old, I was pregnant in a college town and surrounded by people who had their lives ahead of them while I thought I had effectively ruined mine. It turns out that our first son saved mine and my husband’s life. We didn’t just wake up one day and decide to be saintly people who never made any mistakes anymore, but we sure didn’t want to continue down the path we had set in motion.
Looking back at how 8 years can change a person, I honestly don’t even recognize the woman I see in pictures from then. She was overweight, trying to figure life out, and totally confused on where she was going to end up. If my time machine worked (maybe it will one day), I’d go back to tell her that everything works out.
We still aren’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but we are happy. We are no longer co-dependent parents in a toxic relationship. We are healthy, contributing members to society. We don’t party like we used to. We are nicer to one another. We are overall pretty decent human beings.
If you would have told me 8 years ago today that everything would be okay, I still wouldn’t have believed you. But here we are today. Everything is okay. It’s more than okay. We aren’t just surviving anymore. We are thriving!
Do you ever feel silly saying a prayer? Like a problem you have is too small for your Higher Power (HP) to deal with? For example, potty training and cleaning the house. I’ve prayed countless times for these two things and I still feel ridiculous about it. But the truth is, prayer works.
I know we all want those big miraculous moments to happen to us so we can say we have had a divine experience to share with the world! But to be perfectly honest, I have those moments every day. I didn’t completely lose my mind this week because of my kids, that’s a miracle in itself! I haven’t given into my come-and-go temptations to drink, that’s a huge blessing. I haven’t completely given up the will to live because my laundry wasn’t done, the floors went without being mopped, or the dishes weren’t cleaned…a marvelous feat!
These tasks may seem mundane and completely absurd, but that’s the point. Nothing is too small for us to give over to our HP! The little things can easily become the big struggles in our lives if we let them consume us.
Give all of the obligatory, mindless tasks over to your HP. You have to do them whether you have someone helping you or not, so why not ask for guidance and strength along the way?
This one simple thing has made a HUGE impact on my daily life. I hope it will for you too. Happy Friday and have a great weekend!
My husband and I experienced a really trying time in our marriage a few years ago. Between the drinking, the fighting, and adding other gritty details to a troubled past we weren’t sure if we were going to be able to pull through. Luckily, we are able to stand here together today.
But sometimes, the past creeps into our present and we are burdened by the situations that happened years ago that still torment us mentally.
We are reminded of both our distrust and past resentments. We have issues letting go of situations we have already promised to forgive. We fall back into the some of the destructive patterns which led us to an unhealthy set of habits in the first place.
In other words, we mentally fall of the wagon for a bit just to realize we are heading down the wrong path. (Thankfully, we are able to see this pretty quickly, either in ourselves or each other, and we can try to address the problem before it get’s too messy.)
Don’t let your past control your present. Don’t let your past control your future. Let your past live in the past and try to move forward.
We have all made mistakes. We have all done regretful things. We have all messed up in some way or another. But don’t let those burdens keep you from living your best possible life today.
Do you ever step back, take a look at your life, and wonder if you’re headed in the right direction? I’m not even talking about heading in a destructive direction. I’m talking about after you’ve set your compass and recovery has already began. Even after you decide to change your life and be sober, you will still feel lost sometimes. That is what I’m talking about.
I thought for a long time that we (my husband and I) simply needed to quit drinking and all of our problems would go away. They would magically disappear into thin air and we would *poof* become the people we were always meant to be. Well, I hate to break it to you, but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.
There were times when we both felt lost, worried, and indecisive about our future. “Is that what we need to do right now? How do we know it will all work out in the long run? Are we sure we want to make this huge move?” These are only a few of the questions we constantly asked ourselves when making any larger decisions right after sobriety.
The truth is, you may never know if you’re headed down the right path until you have your “aha” moment. (I’m still waiting on ours.) The Right Plan may mean sobriety. It may mean spending more time with your kids. It may mean volunteering for an organization that is really making a difference. It may mean giving back to people in some way that have helped you.
I don’t think The Right Plan necessarily has to have an end destination pin and once you’ve arrived, you’re done. I believe leading a fulfilled and well-rounded life is more important than making sure you followed the right directions.