So in this stage of my life, I no longer strive to be spontaneous anymore. Yes, every once in a while I’ll get a wild hair to order pizza for the kids on a Friday night (I know, CALM DOWN!), but that’s about as zany as we get these days.
I feel as though “spontaneous = reckless” in this season of my life. I don’t believe that’s 100% true, but I find myself being less and less spontaneous the older I get. Maybe routine is to blame. Maybe my need to be responsible is to blame. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown so comfortable in our little cocoon at home that venturing off to anything new kinda scares the crap out of me.
Yesterday, I took my kids to audition for a movie…3 hours away! We never do anything on a whim like this. If something requires us to travel on the weekend (especially 3 hours away), I’ve had it planned out for weeks with the well-stocked snack bag and drinks needed for the entire trip ready to go before we ever load up the car.
No such thing happened yesterday. I had a friend who was excited about taking her own kids (granted they were only 30 minutes down the road from the audition) and her excitement about it got the best of me. I thought, “What the hell? Why not? All I was going to do today was laundry!”
We have no idea if anything will come out of going to this audition, but I did learn one important thing yesterday…try new things even if they scare you. My kids did it. They actually had fun too!
You can be spontaneous and responsible at the same time. My kids didn’t miss school. Nobody missed work for us to go. And we made it home just in time for our nightly routines. Don’t lose your ability to be spontaneous!
There were many ideas I had growing up of how an adult was supposed to be. I honestly didn’t want to be any of them. I wanted to be that kid that graduated high school, went to college, traveled the world, met an exotic foreigner, and lived a life of travel and adventure.
I did graduate high school and college. I married my neighbor that I met in college, who is also from the same state as I am (so out goes the foreigner concept). But, oh the adventures we have been on! I have done things and traveled to places that I couldn’t have imagined growing up. I have experienced things that my former self wouldn’t even be able to comprehend.
I know these same adventures may not be the life of travel and luxury I had imagined as a naive college student, but they have been so much better! In a weird way, those old dreams and ambitions seem ridiculous to me. Don’t get me wrong, I still have big dreams and big ambitions for my life. I’ve simply adjusted those to better fit who I am today than who I wanted to become years ago.
“Adulting” can be hard and grueling work some days. I mean I still feel like an impostor when I’m filling out paperwork for my kids’ school. (Shouldn’t like an adult be filling these out and signing them? Oh right, that’s me…) Never in my wildest dreams did I believe I would enjoy parenting and the life that comes along with it, but Baby, bring me the keys to my mini-van and my travel mug…Mama’s on a mission!
Do you remember your first days of school? Maybe not all the way back to Kindergarten, but a few grades here and there were you were nervous and scared and excited all at the same time?
Personally, I always had the night before jitters. I wouldn’t be able to sleep well and then I’d wake up way before my alarm would go off in fear of oversleeping and missing everything. Even if I had already met the teacher and knew everything there was to know about the school, there was something about taking that first step into the classroom on the first day of school.
Today, my children go back to school and one of them is starting Kindergarten. I’m again excited, nervous, and scared all over again, but for him this time and not me. I’m excited that he gets to go on this journey and learn new things and meet new people. I’m nervous that he may not know his way around yet and will get a little lost. I’m scared that he won’t make any friends today or that, even worse, he’ll be made fun of.
Most of my fears are irrational, but some are completely warranted. But I have control over none of it! So, instead of whining about being scared for me kids or wondering if they’re going to have a terrible day, I’m choosing to take the high road. I’m going to say a little prayer for them, help them find their way this morning, and then release them into the world. I believe I should do it now when things are small and not so scary.
Let go and let God…
So I try to find things that are relatable for everyone that way we are all kind of on the same page. Well, one week ago we got a new puppy. And let me tell you, I wasn’t mentally prepared for a puppy.
Maybe most people can relate to the constant chewing, peeing everywhere, and piles of poop that come along with a housing puppy. I have raised a few dogs in my life already so I guess I was thinking I was a pro and told myself, “I got this!”
Well, I don’t have this. This dog is straining my energy, the little tiny bit I had left after taking care of 3 kids this summer and keeping up with a house that seems to be always messy. He is constantly under foot and we are desperately trying to not step on him all day. He is a nuisance. He tries to chew on the kids. He has tried to eat my front door rug. He pooped in his kennel again last night and let’s just say it wasn’t fun to wake up to at 1:45 am this morning.
But even through all of that, we still love him. We may want to leave him outside for the remainder of the day at times, but his snuggles and kisses make up for all of the flaws.
He’s not perfect, so why was I pretending he would be? Why was I putting an expectation on him to be perfect, especially as a 9 week old puppy?
Thanks for bringing me back to reality HP. I previously prayed for patience with the kids and I believe the dog is the answer to those prays. I’ve realized…it could always be worse!
Ever since I got back to every day life and reality has had time to set back in from vacation mode, I realize I’m already starting to get down on myself. “School is right around the corner and there is so much that needs to be done. Meal planning, school clothes shopping, organize the kids’ clothes, organize the pantry, get the garage in order, and I’m sure tons of other things that need to happen!” Yes, these were all of the thoughts running through me head about 5:30 this morning. That would make anyone go crazy, right?
Well I’m glad I can realize when old habits creep in and I have the power to not let those old things take over my life. I’m not in control of everything around me, but I am in control of myself and how I choose to go into the new school year. I’m in control of how I spend my time each day and whether I should spend time worrying or spend my time in a more productive manner.
I feel that some people think the more stressed out you are (and the more public you are about it!) means you are more productive. I believe the contrary to be true. When you are busy getting things done, you don’t have time to complain about how busy you are!
None of us are perfect here! We all need a little patience and a whole lotta grace!
Summertime in our household is definitely not one that is completely on schedule with everything running smoothly. No. Not at all. Some days we are up and out of bed ready to start the day and others we linger in our PJs until lunch time and then realize we all forgot to brush our teeth. (Except for my husband who works outside the home. He brushes his teeth on time every day!)
Lately, as we start getting closer to the dog days of summer, I’ve really been struggling to stay on a schedule with my daily writings. There is personal writing, blogging, motivational writing, and poetry I work on every day, but the struggle has been extra difficult when we stay up later than usual and I still try to get up at the break of dawn.
With all of the being said, I’m waving the white flag on the schedule this summer! I give up. No more trying to be perfect. (Progress not perfection, right?) I’m not going to fight the reality that is these next few weeks leading up to the start of school again. Yes, I could try to make it all work and stress myself out trying to be perfect (how fun does that sound?), or I can switch up the schedule and only work on things that are most important.
So I skipped a few days on my poetry; I’ll be more diligent in the Fall. So I wasn’t able to do practically any writing when we were out of town visiting family; I know other people will understand. So we weren’t able to do all of the fun and exciting things I had planned this summer; we are surviving and will all be okay.
If you’re struggling with your same ‘ole routine today, switch it up! Who says what you do daily has to be written in stone? Try to do something different and see how it works out. It may be a terrible change, or it could free up your entire day for something new and exciting. You’ll never know until you try.
Do you ever wake up grateful to just be alive? No, seriously…you roll over, hit the alarm, and stare up at the ceiling fan and think, “Man, I’m so lucky to be alive today!” Well, that’s not really how it works for me either. After my first cup of coffee and some life contemplation in the morning, I do feel this overwhelming sensation some days to say Thank You to my Higher Power for allowing me to wake up one more day. (If you can’t already tell, today is one of those days.)
But shouldn’t we be grateful every single day to be alive? Why are you telling us that we should only be grateful every once in awhile to still have a pulse?
Nope, that’s not what I’m saying. While I’d like to sit here and tell you that I thank God every day that I’m here in this chair typing and breathing, the truth is I’m usually too self-centered. There, I said it. I’m usually too selfish to say, “Thank You,” to God. How terrible is that? Maybe that’s something I shouldn’t actually admit. But we’re here to be honest and to not be ashamed, right?
I’m usually too worried about what I need to do for the day. I’m too wrapped up in my little world to sit back, take a deep breath, and say the two words that can change the entire course of my day – Thank you.
Now that I am more aware of this self-centered flaw of mine, I’m going to intentionally be more mindful to say “Thank you” every day to my HP. Thank you for allowing me to breathe today. Thank you for the roof over our heads and the food in our bellies. Thank you for the tiny humans in my life I get to take care of. Thank you for the man you gave to me to journey through this whole “life” thing.
Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.