Sometimes I wish I walked around with an emotional mirror I could look into and see what other people see when they look at me. Do they see a happy & “beaming with joy” lady? Do they see a dark, cold irritable woman? Do they see a frustrated and overwhelmed mom just trying to survive the day? (I’ll have to work on inventing one of those asap!)
There were a few instances yesterday when my husband noticed my level of irritability rising. I, of course, took this as a direct shot at my ego and came back with a loud, snarky comment, “What do you mean I’m being rude?” I instantly heard what he was talking about.
Why can’t I see what he sees before it comes out of my own mouth? I guess it’s the old perfectionist inside of me that doesn’t want to have this character flaw. I want to be happy all of the time and not the fake it ’til you make it kind of happy. I want to be rainbows and butterflies singing on Christmas Day kind of happy.
But that isn’t reality. You can’t maintain that 365 days a year. (You’d be flipping exhausted anyway!) What I do know is this, you aren’t perfect…I’m not perfect…no one is perfect. So stop trying to be perfect all of the time. It’s okay that you’re irritable today or feeling a little overwhelmed. It’s okay that you had a really bad day last week. The trick is to intentionally try to stop the pattern so you can have an unforced, real good day again soon.