Seeing as how it is Valentine’s Day, this seems to be a very fitting topic. For a long time, I was under the impression that we found a spouse or a significant other who was able to fill all of the gaps in our existence. “You complete me,” was the expectation I had when I went looking to meet my future someone.
But how unfair is that, really? One person has to have EVERYTHING you’re lacking. No wonder my marriage was doomed to fail unless something changed. I had put unrealistic expectations on an unstable relationship and then prayed everything would work out. To be honest, I’m glad everything got shook up!
Yes, it was hard and messy and painful, but if we hadn’t been through all of the crap we’ve been through then we may as well be living a life of resentments and regrets. Now, although neither my husband nor myself are perfect (ha, not even close), we see each other for who we are and in what ways we do round each other out.
We still don’t fill all of the gaps in our lives with just each other, but we do a pretty damn good job of making each other laugh when we’ve had a crappy day. Or reminding each other the kids won’t always be so freaking tough to handle and they will move out of the house one day. Or we remind each other to call those other people who help round us out when we need someone besides just us.
So expectations have shifted. We no longer solely depend on each other for everything. We now have a collective group of people, our tribe, helping us get through this rollercoaster of life. I suggest you find your tribe today. Trust me…it’s a lonely world without one.