Pushing my ego aside, admitting that I’m wrong, and truly forgiving someone are some of the hardest things I’ve had to do in my adult life. Sure, there are harder things out there. But I’m talking about REALLY forgiving someone. Not just talking about it and then internally still holding on to anger and resentment.
It’s funny how life works. I’m not even talking about the relationship with my husband. I mean, there are of course things I have had to forgive and move past in our relationship, but I’m referring to a friendship I’ve had to try to mend.
I have ignored or downright tried to shut up the voice in my heart telling me it’s time to heal and forgive this person. We had both been in the wrong and verbally apologized for our behaviors, but I still couldn’t shake this mentality of “I know I said I was sorry, but I’m still mad about what happened. I’ll just say I’m sorry, but I’m still not over this!”
I can tell you right now, this mentality did me no good! Here I am, almost an entire year later, and this friendship is still slowly being put back together. Not because of my ego or my self-righteous attitude of “I’m still right and they’re wrong”. No. This can only be fixed with grace and mercy from my HP. It can only start to heal once I put down the weapons of blame, shame, and pain and start to embrace love.
Love wins every time. I don’t know why we struggle with this concept. I know I’d rather feel loved than hurt, mad, fear, etc.
The truth of the matter is I have missed out on an entire year of a relationship that could have been great all because my ego was calling the shots.
I want to show forgiveness, grace and mercy to others because how else am I going to teach my kids about these things if I myself don’t practice them?
Don’t get me wrong. Forgiveness isn’t easy. But it’s worth it every single time.