You know it’s hard to be married to an alcoholic, but it’s even harder feeling like you can’t tell anyone about your life…your real life. Not just the rainbows and butterflies that everyone shares on social media.
The real stuff…the ups and the downs.
I guess it’s my fault for not being real from the get-go with some of my friends. I should tell everyone, “Hi my name is …neither my husband or myself drink so please don’t make it weird and ask us to go out and do anything with you because A) we’ll feel obligated to make up a reason why we can’t go or B) we’ll show up and make everyone else feel uncomfortable because we aren’t drinking and we won’t give a clear answer why.
It’s been very difficult to make friends when you can’t fully be yourself. Our family moved almost 3 years ago, right at the same time we both decided to get sober, and that was the FRESH start we all needed. We moved to a small, country town with great schools for the kiddos. But man, it’s really lonely when you don’t have friends or family close.
We’ve been here 3 years and I just now feel like I’ve made friends I can trust. I feel like I have a handful of friends who I can be REAL with and I cherish those friendships. It’s not about having friends to go “do stuff” with on the weekends anymore. My friends are all just as busy as our family and so we appreciate our time together. We don’t feel the need to speak every day or make small talk to pass the time. We can sit down together and say “I had a shitty day today” and know that the other person will genuinely care about what you have to say. We listen to one another. We show empathy where it’s due because let’s face it, we could all benefit from knowing we’re not the only ones.
I think it is a good thing it has taken me this long to find my true circle of friends. Although I’ve told myself that I should have more girlfriends in my life to go do stuff with, the truth is, I’m happy with my friends. I don’t need to fill my life with people I have to impress, babysit, make overly grand gestures to impress, or have to fib on who I really am.
I just want to be real. I want to be me. If someone doesn’t like it, that’s okay. Because I am enough. I have the people in my life who love me and support me just the way that I am.