I’m Sorry My NOT Drinking Makes YOU Uncomfortable

I should give people the benefit of the doubt. They don’t know the reasons why my husband and I don’t drink. I’m sure they’ve formed an opinion (as people tend to do) about a reason why in their own minds. Typically, if you don’t give someone a reason or the whole story, they’ll fabricate one in their own minds anyway.

But when I say I don’t drink and I haven’t drank in 3 years, all of the following are NOT appropriate things to say in response to that:

“Oh really? Not even a glass of wine?”

Nope, not even one glass of wine. Because I can’t just drink one glass of wine. One glass of wine turns into 3 bottles of wine later I’m passed out drunk on my couch sleeping in my own urine because I have the world’s tiniest bladder and always peed wherever I was when I passed out drunk. (Charming…I know!)

“Just let me get you a mocktail.”

No, I don’t want something that tastes exactly like a margarita without the tequila. I don’t want a rum free pina colada. I don’t want a jack and coke without the jack. All this does is remind me I’m not drinking and what used to happen when I would drink. Thanks anyway.

“You know they have that sparkling apple juice and alcohol-removed wine!!”

Thanks, but again it doesn’t work that way. I don’t need to imagine I’m drinking something that isn’t really there.

Let me explain to those who don’t have a drinking problem, alcohol is alcohol. There is no category that exempts a wine cooler from being placed on the same shelf as everclear. They’re both alcohol. It’s like comparing smoking pot to shooting heroine. Smoking pot is more accepted and even legal in some states, but it’s still a drug. Shooting heroine is probably frowned upon more than smoking pot, but they’re both drugs. Not just the one that has a bigger impact on your mind and body.

So I’m sorry if I say No to a beer at the tailgate or a glass of wine at your paint party.

I used to not go to any of these events anyway because I didn’t want you asking questions of why I don’t drink in the first place.


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